The coolest thing happened to me last night. I spent time with God despite knowing the fact that I will miss out on sleep and have to get up only four hours later to go to work. My spirit was so thirsty for God's Word and to be able to talk with Him for a while.
You are probably thinking, "Yeah, so what?! I spend time with God too." Here's a question: "Have you ever had those nights where you slept plenty, but you felt like you got no rest whatsoever?" I have, and I have experienced this many times. But I know the reason why; I didn't spend time with my Savior. My body was satisfied, but not my spirit. How many days have you ever been without spending quality time with God and have just yearned for His voice? I know for me I have spent months doing this; and I became deathly ill, spiritually.
Recently, a lot has been on my mind. Thoughts like: where am I going to college next year, what will be my career in the years to come, who will become my wife (or will I ever get married, and what is my ministry. I have prayed to God almost every night, begging for these answers; and in the middle of the stress, I fell asleep. Don't tell me that is a great way to fall asleep, because it isn't! I hate it!!
Last night, Bryan Andress and I were conversing about something, and he gave me some verses to meditate on. I was in the state of distress and fear. I got off of Facebook and my entire being wanted to spend time with Jesus Christ, and so I did. I can't explain the peace and rest that I received that night.
I have a tendency to write out my thoughts as I read Scripture. To those who have been involved in some Word of Life program can understand what I mean. With these questions in mind, one of the first verses was Romans 8:28-29a, "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined...". This basically says that no matter what I do in this life, if I truly love God and fear Him, then everything will work out.
Okay, yeah I believe everything will work out, but I am still scared! How do I fix that? "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. ...For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world--our faith. Who is he who overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?" (I John 4:18, 5:4-5). It seems like God has a response for everything.
When do I know to jump or wait a bit before doing so? "Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD! ...My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him." (Psalm 27:14, 62:5). Alright, so all I need to do is wait patiently until the Holy Spirit tells me otherwise.
What if I screw up? "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes..." (Proverbs 3:5-7a). So trust God, and everything will fall into place.
Matthew 6:25-34:
"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
God also reminded me this, "Know that the LORD, He is God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture." which is found in Psalm 100:3. I did not create my own life, neither did this world. God did, meaning I am His creation. If I am His own possession, will He not care and provide for me? Of course!! Then why worry?
It is not like I am going to face this life alone. God promises me in Isaiah 43:2, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you." What a promise, especially a promise to sleep on!
After I read a lot of these verses (some of these passages were just added), I felt a peace inside that told me, "Everything will be alright. Don't worry." I went to bed and instantly fell asleep. I woke up four hours later, fully refreshed and set to face another day. Tell me this, God is good!
So I encourage you all who have read this, if your body is rested and your spirit is not, it is probably time to have a talk with God. He will calm your spirit and give you promises that go beyond human comprehension. I'd rather have a rested spirit than a rested body. Your mind and spirit control everything else.
Your brother in Christ,
Mark Parkhurst
Friday, December 5, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
A Prayer For The Gallows
Lord,
Why is it so hard for me to simply believe upon Your promises? Do they not have enough proof or evidence that they will be fulfilled? You put Your Son's own life on the line to prove to us that You are true, and that You are faithful, and that You truly love us. Then why is it so hard for me to believe?
Is it my gullibility to Satan's deceptive words? Is it the "advertisements" of what the world offers and the satisfaction that it promises? Is it the temptation of my flesh that makes me believe that the temptation will go away if I simply give in? No! It wasn't any of these, but it was my choice.
It doesn't take much to follow, Lord; for that is what we are...followers. But what am I a follower of? You? It doesn't appear that way. In fact, I take the cards in hand and play out what best suits me; therefore, I am a follower of self.
O King Self, what can you give that which is not already given? What can you create that which has not been already created? You only take that which God has created and use them for self pleasure, but they are only distortions, not the real deal. Self and Satan, you are one in the same in God's eyes; and you deserve to be punished.
Tonight is the night you will be hung. The gallows are ready and you will suffocate and then burn. I am a sinner, worthy of Hell and the punishment meant for me. Why do You, Lord, bow before Your Father, and take every beating for me? Lord, I am the one at fault, not You. It's been years that You've been through this, and yet, You do so willingly. Lord, You always amaze me.
If that is what true humility is, then let me be Your disciple of humility and teach me Your ways. Let the world and its lust fade away, so that my focus will only be on You. Do not let me go back!! I hate it! I HATE IT ALL! False promises that break on the concrete floor is what they are. If it is what it takes, then break me. Break me completely! My life doesn't matter anymore, only You. It is not I who live, but the One who lives in me. Lord Jesus that is You!
Forgive me for all those times that I have betrayed You, and You took it all for me. I do not deserve Your love, but You love me anyway. Why? Who cares! Simply let me stand in awe of Your love! Here I am running up the hill to my death, and now, I will put an end to this idol of self. Do the honors of putting that rope around my neck. I want to be set free! No more sin, no more self, no more empty promises, no more pain, and no more to a bruised and broken Spirit; for tonight, I die to self. Let love control me completely, and let it possess me with Your strength alone. Lord, You win, not I!
In Your name,
Amen
Why is it so hard for me to simply believe upon Your promises? Do they not have enough proof or evidence that they will be fulfilled? You put Your Son's own life on the line to prove to us that You are true, and that You are faithful, and that You truly love us. Then why is it so hard for me to believe?
Is it my gullibility to Satan's deceptive words? Is it the "advertisements" of what the world offers and the satisfaction that it promises? Is it the temptation of my flesh that makes me believe that the temptation will go away if I simply give in? No! It wasn't any of these, but it was my choice.
It doesn't take much to follow, Lord; for that is what we are...followers. But what am I a follower of? You? It doesn't appear that way. In fact, I take the cards in hand and play out what best suits me; therefore, I am a follower of self.
O King Self, what can you give that which is not already given? What can you create that which has not been already created? You only take that which God has created and use them for self pleasure, but they are only distortions, not the real deal. Self and Satan, you are one in the same in God's eyes; and you deserve to be punished.
Tonight is the night you will be hung. The gallows are ready and you will suffocate and then burn. I am a sinner, worthy of Hell and the punishment meant for me. Why do You, Lord, bow before Your Father, and take every beating for me? Lord, I am the one at fault, not You. It's been years that You've been through this, and yet, You do so willingly. Lord, You always amaze me.
If that is what true humility is, then let me be Your disciple of humility and teach me Your ways. Let the world and its lust fade away, so that my focus will only be on You. Do not let me go back!! I hate it! I HATE IT ALL! False promises that break on the concrete floor is what they are. If it is what it takes, then break me. Break me completely! My life doesn't matter anymore, only You. It is not I who live, but the One who lives in me. Lord Jesus that is You!
Forgive me for all those times that I have betrayed You, and You took it all for me. I do not deserve Your love, but You love me anyway. Why? Who cares! Simply let me stand in awe of Your love! Here I am running up the hill to my death, and now, I will put an end to this idol of self. Do the honors of putting that rope around my neck. I want to be set free! No more sin, no more self, no more empty promises, no more pain, and no more to a bruised and broken Spirit; for tonight, I die to self. Let love control me completely, and let it possess me with Your strength alone. Lord, You win, not I!
In Your name,
Amen
Thoughts Before "Bones Beneath Blades"
You are probably looking forward to my new poem (I think that it will turn out that way)...probably not. It doesn't matter. I just wanted to share some thoughts before I write it. As you can tell from just my status alone, it's about sin and it's temptation. "Beneath the ever turning blades, I see something glisten. My surrounding fades, and my ears begin to listen to a voice. It's temptation's call!' (words may change).
As Christians, we should all hate sin and it's affect on us, but we are so easily bribed by Satan's tasty morsels! It only takes "pieces of candy" to draw us away from Christ into a living hell. We all know he is a liar from the beginning, yet we run to him always as if he were a loyal friend. We believe his lies to be true until the aftermath; then we cry to God for help. Satan is good at what he does, and we need to realize we are ever so gullible. You see, Satan uses a light within the darkness to catch our attention, the best tactic to use because of it's contrast. It strikes within us a curiosity. It's this curiosity that kills us.
Why can't we just believe on the promises of God? Why do get so easily drawn away from this path of righteousness? It's not like we always want to! It's just a disease within us that is hard to get rid of; in fact; it's impossible to be rid of this disease until our flesh dies. I mean that both spiritually and physically. Spiritually, we can be freed from it's bondage by giving ourselves to Jesus Christ, but only the bondage was broken. The sin still remains in our flesh. We will always bound be to sin in this life until we physically die and are before the presence of God in Heaven.
But before I end this message, I simply want to go into one thought I recently had. We all say that sin is pleasurable at the moment, but is that really true? Like I just said, Satan is liar, especially from the beginning. But what if those very words are a lie in itself? What if we were made to believe that by Satan himself? What I mean is this. What if Satan made us to think that sin is enjoyable? Is it the process of sinning that is enjoyable? Or is it the thought of it that is enjoyable?
We have the Holy Spirit within us which we are to live by. The flesh and Spirit war against each other. It's like a Jekyll and Hyde game. Whether it's the Holy Spirit or our flesh, the one with most power and determination will win. If one is dominant, the other is going through hell (being ripped to shreds). So if we are choosing to live in sin for just one moment, the Spirit will be torn into shreds; therefore, how can it be enjoyable? The Spirit is connected to our soul (since it is the life we are now living by), making it ever more painful as we sin.
I think it is not the process that makes it enjoyable, but it is the ecstasy of thinking we are enjoying the sin, but in fact, we are putting our Spirit through torment. It's like the thought of it numbed us completely, therefore we truly don't have a clue to what we are doing to ourselves. It's not until we see our wounds that the pain starts kicking in. It's then we start to cry in utter pain unto God, "God, what is going on! Why am I in pieces?!"
All that is written is just man-made thoughts. I haven't gone to Scripture to see if it is actually true. If you disagree or see differently, please write back! Oh yeah, look forward to what is to come!
As Christians, we should all hate sin and it's affect on us, but we are so easily bribed by Satan's tasty morsels! It only takes "pieces of candy" to draw us away from Christ into a living hell. We all know he is a liar from the beginning, yet we run to him always as if he were a loyal friend. We believe his lies to be true until the aftermath; then we cry to God for help. Satan is good at what he does, and we need to realize we are ever so gullible. You see, Satan uses a light within the darkness to catch our attention, the best tactic to use because of it's contrast. It strikes within us a curiosity. It's this curiosity that kills us.
Why can't we just believe on the promises of God? Why do get so easily drawn away from this path of righteousness? It's not like we always want to! It's just a disease within us that is hard to get rid of; in fact; it's impossible to be rid of this disease until our flesh dies. I mean that both spiritually and physically. Spiritually, we can be freed from it's bondage by giving ourselves to Jesus Christ, but only the bondage was broken. The sin still remains in our flesh. We will always bound be to sin in this life until we physically die and are before the presence of God in Heaven.
But before I end this message, I simply want to go into one thought I recently had. We all say that sin is pleasurable at the moment, but is that really true? Like I just said, Satan is liar, especially from the beginning. But what if those very words are a lie in itself? What if we were made to believe that by Satan himself? What I mean is this. What if Satan made us to think that sin is enjoyable? Is it the process of sinning that is enjoyable? Or is it the thought of it that is enjoyable?
We have the Holy Spirit within us which we are to live by. The flesh and Spirit war against each other. It's like a Jekyll and Hyde game. Whether it's the Holy Spirit or our flesh, the one with most power and determination will win. If one is dominant, the other is going through hell (being ripped to shreds). So if we are choosing to live in sin for just one moment, the Spirit will be torn into shreds; therefore, how can it be enjoyable? The Spirit is connected to our soul (since it is the life we are now living by), making it ever more painful as we sin.
I think it is not the process that makes it enjoyable, but it is the ecstasy of thinking we are enjoying the sin, but in fact, we are putting our Spirit through torment. It's like the thought of it numbed us completely, therefore we truly don't have a clue to what we are doing to ourselves. It's not until we see our wounds that the pain starts kicking in. It's then we start to cry in utter pain unto God, "God, what is going on! Why am I in pieces?!"
All that is written is just man-made thoughts. I haven't gone to Scripture to see if it is actually true. If you disagree or see differently, please write back! Oh yeah, look forward to what is to come!
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